| Come back Ever again |
[Jun. 5th, 2006|03:09 am] |
All this stuff that im about to say is from my heart.
So Listen and read..
First of all i have been feeeling like crap and somehow i have been trying to figure myself out and lately i have beeen depressed and sad for some reason.
I could tell that my friends (i have so many so friends but this blog is about some of them)
are getting tired of me and so i try my best to be a good friend..
And it seems like i failed and it's makes me feel bad when im not wanted and people just don't know how that feels and its like a really huge knife in my heart and i hate that..
What in the hell do i do to annoy people..
people just stand there and son't say shit and i can't do anything about it if nobody says anything...
To one of my friends he is about to do something so fucking stupid and i wished i could just tell him but he looks so happy..
Im going to tell him sooner or later..
but he should know that he could get in trouble for what he is doing..
but i guess he can't think about it..
Well i wrote this today and this is one of first time i written like this
"Set Your Hearts To Die A Certain Time"
"The more i go on it gets worse
It goes to my head making me feel like shit
I wanna go home and stay inside
I shouldn't have said those things
That i said to everyone
Its always so hard to be myself
Am i going to do the right thing
I've failed and somehow my legs are weak
I can't prove myself to anyone now
I've failed and somehow my heart stopped beating
xSilentx
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SX XE |
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| xSilentx |
[May. 29th, 2006|12:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  rejected | ] |
I don't know what is wrong with me..
im never going to be okay..
my friends show that they don't care im not really sure...
well im writing this pointless journal cause maybe i won't be here tomm
i don't know it seems that in my life i don't have anything anymore..
love is out of the picture cause i suck at it...friends are treating me like crap and im treating them like crap tooo..
if i don't answer your phonecall or i igonored you its because i just want to be alone...
im taking the hard way and i expect to leave soon.......
nothing here is goood to me.. |
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| Live the Life that you love, Love the life that you live |
[May. 9th, 2006|01:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  refreshed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bane | ] |
Somehow i find the topic a hard thing to believe..
i gots to tell you if the band that i want to come down here in odessa
maybe my life will be on track
now i just feel alone like all the time and i hate it..
i like going to see elias and his friendship is very important to me..
The other day i finally admit to my mom that i have thought of leaving here..
entry part 2
Today went very well..
got a new sald worker finally..
and plus i got to work with my favorite worker adriana..
she is so awesome..abd she tells me that i have a babyface..
We ate at carinos and we hungout for a bit and i took her home....
she likes it when i sing to her..
that makes me smile alot..
but i can;t wait to see her thursday mourning....
:) |
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| Holding on to all i have left |
[May. 4th, 2006|12:47 am] |
Tell myself on the ride home.
Getting tired, hating all I've known.
Holding on like it's all I have.
Count me out when it's clear that I
find it hard to say.
And you find it hard to care.
I wanted to see something that's different,
something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be anything different,
everything you would change in me.
Got this way, up front but never true.
God, I'm wrong, it's just the way I am.
Crashing down any chance you'll hear.
Caving in any chance that you,
could see inside of me.
And I, I'll know what to say,
It's fine, this isn't Hollywood.
So fine, getting in your way.
I wanted to see something that's different,
something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be anything different,
everything you would change in me.
I'm taking a chance,
this could be different.
This could be all I'm waiting for.
Taking a chance,
this could be different.
This could be all I'm waiting for.
I wanted to see something that's different,
something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be anything different,
everything you would change in me.
Something that's different (something that's different)
This song means a lot to me..
i love those lyrics
Oh by the way the new tool cd sucks..
if yall like the new one you are not a tool fan..
cause his lyrics are horrible..
he has changed alot..
thoise lyrics up there are better than the whole cd put together
man tool died nin died and deftones are getting there too..
i didn't want to say that but i did now..
i hate how this day started
i miss a certain somneone who i think doesn't want to talk to me..
i love her and i wish i could just have the time for her.
im sorry...
Forgive me please..
"My heart take what i got and this is all i have" |
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| Screw the words |
[May. 3rd, 2006|05:21 pm] |
Im so fucking pissed
i don't really want to say why..
cause it causes to much drama.
but i know that i can't take it anylonger |
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| Before the day Begins |
[May. 2nd, 2006|02:58 am] |
WEll since this is my first entry
my name is matt :)
how can you explain a guy like me..
i can't really explain me unless you know me..
Well the past couple days i have been thinking alot lately..
i have been thinking about the friends i have in this town and sometimes i feel like im losing them and at the same time i feel happy with them and i love my friends.
"Friends are family"
Well i have to say that the only person that talked to me was elias about this whole thing
i has this idea about moving and going somewhere else to start over with my life cause i sometimes feel like im not important to anybody here anyway but that is the way i feel, my friends do tell me that they care about me but how do i know for sure..
I don't know but i sure do miss talking to brandy about stuff she is my bestfriend..love you bran bran
Elias i have to say that you have been there for me even tho we don't know each other that well..
BUt i know that you are my bestfriend and our talks about life and other stuff i cherish every one of them buddy...
well im tired and plus i have to werk tomm mourning and i have to werk tomm night toooo :( |
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