urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:silentloveheart silentloveheart silentloveheart 2006-06-05T08:09:13Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:silentloveheart:1786 2006-06-05T08:09:13Z 2006-06-05T08:09:13Z All this stuff that im about to say is from my heart.<br /><br />So Listen and read..<br /><br /><br />First of all i have been feeeling like crap and somehow i have been trying to figure myself out and lately i have beeen depressed and sad for some reason.<br />I could tell that my friends (i have so many so friends but this blog is about some of them)<br />are getting tired of me and so i try my best to be a good friend..<br />And it seems like i failed and it's makes me feel bad when im not wanted and people just don't know how that feels and its like a really huge knife in my heart and i hate that..<br />What in the hell do i do to annoy people..<br />people just stand there and son't say shit and i can't do anything about it if nobody says anything...<br />To one of my friends he is about to do something so fucking stupid and i wished i could just tell him but he looks so happy..<br />Im going to tell him sooner or later..<br />but he should know that he could get in trouble for what he is doing..<br />but i guess he can't think about it..<br />Well i wrote this today and this is one of first time i written like this<br /><br />"Set Your Hearts To Die A Certain Time"<br /><br />"The more i go on it gets worse<br />It goes to my head making me feel like shit<br />I wanna go home and stay inside<br />I shouldn't have said those things<br />That i said to everyone<br />Its always so hard to be myself<br />Am i going to do the right thing<br />I've failed and somehow my legs are weak<br />I can't prove myself to anyone now<br />I've failed and somehow my heart stopped beating<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />xSilentx<br /><br /> X <br />SX XE urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:silentloveheart:1518 2006-05-29T05:56:47Z 2006-05-29T06:42:14Z I don't know what is wrong with me..<br /><br /> im never going to be okay..<br /><br />my friends show that they don't care im not really sure...<br />well im writing this pointless journal cause maybe i won't be here tomm <br /><br />i don't know it seems that in my life i don't have anything anymore..<br />love is out of the picture cause i suck at it...friends are treating me like crap and im treating them like crap tooo..<br /><br />if i don't answer your phonecall or i igonored you its because i just want to be alone...<br />im taking the hard way and i expect to leave soon.......<br /><br /><br />nothing here is goood to me.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:silentloveheart:1025 2006-05-09T06:24:11Z 2006-05-09T21:32:48Z Bane Somehow i find the topic a hard thing to believe..<br /><br /><br />i gots to tell you if the band that i want to come down here in odessa <br /><br /><br />maybe my life will be on track<br /><br />now i just feel alone like all the time and i hate it..<br />i like going to see elias and his friendship is very important to me..<br />The other day i finally admit to my mom that i have thought of leaving here..<br /><br />entry part 2<br /><br />Today went very well..<br /><br />got a new sald worker finally..<br /><br />and plus i got to work with my favorite worker adriana..<br /><br /><br />she is so awesome..abd she tells me that i have a babyface..<br /><br />We ate at carinos and we hungout for a bit and i took her home....<br />she likes it when i sing to her..<br /><br />that makes me smile alot..<br /><br />but i can;t wait to see her thursday mourning....<br /><br /><br />:) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:silentloveheart:918 2006-05-04T05:51:13Z 2006-05-04T05:51:13Z Tell myself on the ride home.<br />Getting tired, hating all I've known.<br />Holding on like it's all I have.<br />Count me out when it's clear that I<br />find it hard to say.<br />And you find it hard to care.<br /><br />I wanted to see something that's different,<br />something you said would change in me.<br />Wanted to be anything different,<br />everything you would change in me.<br /><br />Got this way, up front but never true.<br />God, I'm wrong, it's just the way I am.<br />Crashing down any chance you'll hear.<br />Caving in any chance that you,<br />could see inside of me.<br />And I, I'll know what to say,<br />It's fine, this isn't Hollywood.<br />So fine, getting in your way.<br /><br />I wanted to see something that's different,<br />something you said would change in me.<br />Wanted to be anything different,<br />everything you would change in me.<br /><br />I'm taking a chance,<br />this could be different.<br />This could be all I'm waiting for.<br />Taking a chance,<br />this could be different.<br />This could be all I'm waiting for.<br /><br />I wanted to see something that's different,<br />something you said would change in me.<br />Wanted to be anything different,<br />everything you would change in me.<br /><br />Something that's different (something that's different)<br /><br /><br />This song means a lot to me..<br /><br />i love those lyrics <br /><br /><br />Oh by the way the new tool cd sucks..<br /><br />if yall like the new one you are not a tool fan..<br /><br />cause his lyrics are horrible..<br /><br /><br />he has changed alot..<br /><br />thoise lyrics up there are better than the whole cd put together <br /><br /><br />man tool died nin died and deftones are getting there too..<br /><br />i didn't want to say that but i did now..<br /><br /><br />i hate how this day started <br /><br />i miss a certain somneone who i think doesn't want to talk to me..<br /><br />i love her and i wish i could just have the time for her.<br /><br /><br />im sorry...<br /><br /><br />Forgive me please..<br /><br /><br />"My heart take what i got and this is all i have" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:silentloveheart:741 2006-05-03T22:23:00Z 2006-05-03T22:23:00Z Im so fucking pissed <br /><br /><br />i don't really want to say why..<br /><br />cause it causes to much drama.<br /><br />but i know that i can't take it anylonger urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:silentloveheart:511 2006-05-02T08:08:02Z 2006-05-02T08:08:02Z WEll since this is my first entry<br /><br />my name is matt :)<br /><br />how can you explain a guy like me..<br />i can't really explain me unless you know me..<br /><br />Well the past couple days i have been thinking alot lately..<br />i have been thinking about the friends i have in this town and sometimes i feel like im losing them and at the same time i feel happy with them and i love my friends.<br /><br />"Friends are family"<br /><br />Well i have to say that the only person that talked to me was elias about this whole thing <br /><br />i has this idea about moving and going somewhere else to start over with my life cause i sometimes feel like im not important to anybody here anyway but that is the way i feel, my friends do tell me that they care about me but how do i know for sure..<br />I don't know but i sure do miss talking to brandy about stuff she is my bestfriend..love you bran bran<br />Elias i have to say that you have been there for me even tho we don't know each other that well..<br />BUt i know that you are my bestfriend and our talks about life and other stuff i cherish every one of them buddy...<br /><br />well im tired and plus i have to werk tomm mourning and i have to werk tomm night toooo :(